No Step Down. For now.

We had our hearts ready for moving to step down this week, but that doesn't seem like its gonna happen. I've been perfectly content taking it step by step, but in rounds tonight the vibe was off. I could tell they didn't wanna really tell me what they think will happen. 

He's having some reflux issues and his lungs are still wet. They want his bolus feeds perfect before they take him out of the CICU. They basically want him "GO HOME" ready before they send him to step down. He isn't there yet. 

The nurses tell me it's because of all the issues he has had. The blocked shunt really put a delay in Eli's recovery. He's just not ready. I'm not pushing it by any means. I want Eli at his best before they send him away from all of the care they give him here. 

But there's just a point where you break. We've been here for over a month. I'm ready to be home, dinners with my family, sleep in my own bed and wake up to my own coffee pot (that I don't have but will be purchasing soon)! I am going to be taking the month off of September with no pay to care for Eli. The time period between this stage and the next surgery are very critical. I need that time with Eli at home. Eventually. 

With the information we got tonight, taking off September doesn't seem like that will even be enough. Few more weeks in the CICU and then step down. Then home. It's just so frustrating. 

We just want to be home. The 4 of us. 

:/