We're closing in.

Even writing this I find tears building up in my eyes. How are we already approaching the due date to our little Eli. I don't know if its really set in we're about to be parents of 2 boys. One who has brought so much love and joy to my life and the other will challenge me in ways I probably didn't know I could be challenged. One to calm me and one to keep me on my toes, right? 

What a crazy few days! Where do I begin...

Tuesday Eli failed his NST. We could not get him to react so I was sent for a 2 hour monitoring in triage. They did not like what they saw. We were admitted and eventually let go the next morning. He was having d-cells with each contraction. At one point 3 nurses rushed in to give me oxygen and flip me around to give Eli a jolt. His heart rate had dipped very low. He came out of it okay but pretty scary stuff. Went home Wednesday and continued my own monitoring. Movements and contractions. Fun! 

Friday I went back for my doc appt and NST. No change in dilation for me, but another failed NST for Eli. Same routine except this time he passed the second set of motoring and we were let go. This one got to me. I cried all the way up to triage. Not exactly sure what was to come but just knew we were getting closer to the tributes of this disorder. It's starting to make sense when all these heart moms tell you about the struggles of the unknown. It's taking its toll on me. 

Later that night I couldn't get Eli to move the 6 times an hour they told me he needed to be moving. I was only getting 4 an hour. I panicked. Called doc and was sent back to triage at 8pm. Monitored for an hour and let go. He looked fine they said. 

So here we are back at home continuing to monitor movements and waiting for contractions to get unbearable before I set foot back in that place. 

Stressed, A little bit. Exhausted, beyond words. Ready to meet Eli safely, you betcha.