Back to work. For now.

Over the weekend I made the decision to go back to work starting September 3. We feel that since there is a good chance  Eli will spend a few more weeks, maybe month{s} in the CICU, I might as well go back and try to get a paycheck. I was going to be taking off September originally with no pay. It's just not what's best financially for my family. 

I work right next door to Eli's hospital so it's very convenient for me to go back now while he is still there and we have the room at Ronald McDonald house. I wouldn't need to drive to work. I could visit with Eli and then walk to work, see him when I get off and throughout the evening with Lucas. It all sounds good now, just hoping I have the strength to be able to do it.

I will resume my leave when Eli gets discharged from the hospital. When that will be, no idea. At this point, we aren't even sure we want him to come home and just to return in a short time for his second surgery.

Very mixed emotions at this point. All I know is that a part of me is ready and a part of me isn't. I want so badly to be a family of 4, in my home. But if he's safest where he is now, then I have to be ok with that too.