I guess we can start off by saying how we had an amazing new year. It started off really well with Eli. We got through winter with mild sickness, no trips to children's or the pediatrician.
I left UC at the end of January. Probably one of the hardest things I have done while being down here. They were my family, away from family. I started UC at 21. I got married, had children, went through losses, even a heart transplant. Many memories and so grateful for what they did for my family.
But better things are ahead. I began my new Mercy position on Feb 9. It's definitely more than what I anticipated I am extremely busy but that's good right, keeps my mind off Eli or the worries we heart moms go through when we have to be away from our children all day.
So then came March 2nd. Eli went in for his annual heart biopsy. A routine cath and procedure he has every 3-4 months to check for rejection. During his procedure Eli did not like the catheter when inserted into his right coronary artery. It caused a "tickle" and Eli's heart rate went from 100bpm to 2bpm. They had to do chest compressions for 30 seconds to regain a strong heartbeat. He recovered well and we went home the same day.
Eli had an ok week. Off and on crankiness but nothing too serious. Friday he spiked a fever of 102.6 and was being treated with Tylenol every 6 hours. It would come down but spike back up. So we carried out the weekend and cardiology knew what was going on. We had a plan to continue the Tylenol and if other symptoms occurred we would go to the ER.
Monday was a complete turn around. I dropped Eli and lucas off around 8am at the sitter. Eli was still battling a 102 temp. He slept most of the day but his demeanor and progression were declining. I got home around 4:30 and immediately knew it was time to take Eli into the ED. His color was very pale and grey, his breathing was off and his body was weak. He couldn't keep his eyes open or his head up. I have never seen him so lifeless since getting his new heart. I was terrified.
I got to the ED and we were about 12 deep in line to be checked in. Danny called me while I was waiting and I was explaining what was going on. I must have been talking just loudly enough for a nurse to come over and ask me if he was ok. (Remind you, Eli isn't keeping his head up, his eyes are rolled in the back of his head and his arms are flailing out to the side of his body....it looked like I was carrying a dead body). She immediately took me to the front and got me a sticker and we headed to the trauma room.
Here is where I lose myself. Even supermoms have a weakness. Mine is when your child is taken from you and thrown onto a table, clothes ripped off and about 6 people shouting diff things at once. I can comprehend most of it, but in the moment, you're blank. You just can't think of anything else. I can barely see his tiny toes through arms and bodies of other people. While trying to give reports to about 3 doctors and explain the current events over and over again.
I was able to stand by Eli most of the time in the trauma room. Trying not to blend in with the other nurses and staff, because I still had my scrubs on from work. Once Eli was stable we were moved into the CICU. Our home for so many months before. A barrell of emotions run through you being back in a place like this. When death has knocked at your doorstep so many times, it's hard to have any emotion when so many things are still unknown.
That's where we are. Eli had 104 fever when we were admitted. It has came down but returned. Many tests have been ran and we are waiting on results. He is currently on monitors and his heart is okay. His doctors should be around shortly to update me on what we do next.
