Dont Blink.

My little sister never fails to make me realize how much you can do in life, if only you have the will. Tomorrow she is turning 18 and graduating next Saturday..there’s no end to my pride. She’s the most intelligent, motivated, inspiring person I know. She has shown me that as long as you work, you get where you deserve to be, where you want to be. You just have to put in the effort.

To be in my sisters presence is wonderful. Maybe I’m biased, but the sun shines out of her ass, okay! She may annoy the living crap out of me, but man, I prefer that to her not being here at all. I am so proud of her and all that she has accomplished. Its hard to believe she is turning 18! Just feels like yesterday I was holding her on the couch and wondering what in the heck I was going to do with something like this! (I was 9 when she was born OK!)

I have missed out on the daily happenings of Kaitlyn's life. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could have all of that back. But I believe its made us better sisters. Sisters that know you can count on for anything, no matter how upset or mad you may be at one another...and know they will do anything for you. She is my best friend. She is my person.

I love you Kaitlyn Michelle James. I am so very proud of who you have become.

Mwah!
Seesta.

32 weeks!

Today was my 4th NST for baby Eli. He's doing great. No complaints. 

He also scored a perfect 8 on his BPP SO that's more good news. Again, no idea on what they look at but it's been more focused on his breathing and heart during these & honestly I don't care until he starts to fail! Another weigh in at 4.2lbs

:)

The tech was so nice. She's lives in Harrison so we immediately hit it off. She even gave me a few 3d/4d pics just bc she felt generous :) how cute! 

Final Echo & the TOUR!

Eli's heart is pretty much the same as before, just a larger version of it. They did make it a point to tell us that his leaking is still mild so no concern to have any further Echo's which was a huge surprise to me. I was supposed to get one more before delivery. He is doing well and doesn’t need them. So we were not going to argue that! Eli is also weighing in at 4lbs at 32 weeks. I feel like this is big. Lucas weighed 8.7lbs at birth and I just have this ODD feeling that Eli is going to overcome the statistics for HLHS babies and outweigh his big brother. This for Eli is fantastic. HLHS babies need to weigh as much as possible to sustain those surgeries after birth...This for mama bear, sucks! I gain a lot of weight in my last few weeks of pregnancy and Eli will probably gain most of his weight during this time point as well! I feel like he’s huge already just at 4lbs! Crazy to think he’s got 8 weeks left!

They arranged a tour of the CICU for us, so we got to see the facilities as well as a few places for Lucas to spend some time while his little brother is recovering. The lady showed us different areas of where Eli will be staying and recovering. She answered a lot of our questions, from pumping to breastfeeding to leaving toys with him when we're not there to staying overnight to well, everything we could think of. It was a huge weight off of our shoulders I think, to know exactly where we will be for his first weeks of birth. They emphasize keeping things as normal for Lucas as possible. It started to break my heart knowing their may be nights I won’t get to tuck Lucas into bed because I will have to stay with Eli in the CICU. It’s a lot to digest today. But I think it’s good for us to know. So when I am hit with the separation stick, it won’t hurt as bad!

I think Danny & I both felt that we're in really good hands there. Not that we're looking forward to making that home for several weeks, but everyone seems so wonderful and the place is so well-equipped for little heart babies... I guess there's a reason why people travel from all over the world to take their children there.

xoxo

What is an NST for baby Eli?

The Fetal Non-Stress test is a simple, non-invasive test performed in pregnancies over 28 weeks gestation. The test is named “non-stress” because no stress is placed on the fetus during the test.

The test involves attaching one belt to the mother’s abdomen to measure fetal heart rate and another belt to measure contractions. Movement, heart rate and “reactivity” of heart rate to movement is measured for 20-30 minutes. If the baby does not move, it does not necessarily indicate that there is a problem; the baby could just be asleep. A nurse may use a small “buzzer” to wake the baby for the remainder of the test.

A NST may be performed if:

• You sense that the baby is not moving as frequently as usual
• You are overdue
• There is any reason to suspect that the placenta is not functioning adequately
• You are high risk for any other reason

The test can indicate if the baby is not receiving enough oxygen because of placental or umbilical cord problems; it can also indicate other types of fetal distress.

The primary goal of the test is to measure the heart rate of the fetus in response to its own movements. Healthy babies will respond with an increased heart rate during times of movement, and the heart rate will decrease at rest. The concept behind a non-stress test is that adequate oxygen is required for fetal activity and heart rate to be within normal ranges. When oxygen levels are low, the fetus may not respond normally. Low oxygen levels can often be caused by problems with the placenta or umbilical cord.

A reactive non-stress result indicates that blood flow (and oxygen) to the fetus is adequate. A nonreactive non-stress result requires additional testing to determine whether the result is truly due to poor oxygenation, or whether there are other reasons for fetal nonreactivity.

In this case, Eli gets NSTs due to his HLHS. These babies tend to get more stressed as they get closer to birth. Less room to move, and the good side of his heart will start to work harder, therefore, putting more stress on his little self. They also tend to stop growing in utero, so this is also being monitored at the same ime before the NSTs are given. Those are called Biophysical profiles.

Thats why I get so many cute little profile pics of him weekly :)

Explaining surgery

I have had a few people ask me exactly what they will do to baby Eli during his first surgery. At first, I could only say a brief description but the more people stated to ask, the more I started to research. Here is the best description I could find. 

The staged reconstruction for HL HS requires three operations. The first is the Norwood procedure, Usually performed in the first week or two of life. In the Norwood procedure the pulmonary artery is sewn to the aorta. This allows the only good ventricle, the right ventricle, to pump blood to the body Rather than the lungs as it normally does. In order to get some blood to the lungs a small tube of Gore tex is sewn From the innominate artery to the pulmonary artery. This a major and very complex surgery, With the babies often spending several weeks in the pediatric intensive care unit after the surgery. When the child leaves the hospital he or she will be mildly blue or cyanotic. 

Maternity photos 30 weeks

Jackie did such a great job with Lucas at his 2 year pics I just had to use her again! This time we had our maternity pics done for Baby Eli. I love them! She's great. Check her out on Facebook at JACKIE B PHOTOGRAPHY :)

Eli shower

Yesterday we got to celebrate Baby Eli. I was excited to spend the day with a few friends and family. Many dont have another shower for their second child unless its another gender, so we decided to have a diaper shower and book gift theme for baby Eli. He's got quite the collection of both going :) Here are a few pics from Sunday! And yes, my outfit matches Eli theme in his room. I planned this. I know. I'm cheesy c

Xoxo

Trouble maker.

I woke up around 3:30. Immediately sat up to find myself sitting in a puddle of...well, I wasn't sure. I called Good Sam to leave a message for the on-call doc to see what I should do. I had already went through the steps. Counted kicks, checked to make sure his movement was ok and used the bathroom. Walked a few laps around the house to see if the leaking continued. It did. 20 mins later the docs called. Although highly unlikely it was my amniotic fluid, we had to be certain. Come on in she said and let's see. So that's what I did. 

I packed a bag for myself, got Lucas ready and headed for my Mother In laws. This almost felt like the real deal. But not quite. I drove myself to the hospital. Danny is working. Not in any pain so the need for someone to drive me wasn't necessary. Triage was busy but they got me into a room quickly. Hooked me up and I answered some questions. This is where it gets annoying. 

The RN comes in and tells one of the other nurses that I need 2 monitors. "She's twins!" & She walks out. 

Whoa. Does someone know something I don't? I immediately put a halt on everything. I said no no I am not having twins. I have an HLHS BABY and leaking fluid. Lets just say triage was not on their A game today!

Eli was monitored for an hour and the doc finally came in to check me. No amniotic fluid but I am leaking. Eli is full force resting on my bladder and cervix, causing lots of pressure and leaking urine/bodily fluid. You got it. I'm peeing on myself and I have no control what-so-ever. 

I am dilated 1cm but no reason to be put on any rest or close watch. No contractions or pain. So we're ok. 

Fun to continue to pee on yourself, right? Not. 

Stress test #1

Today was our first NST. NON STRESS TEST. I arrived early enough to scarf down a breakfast from the hospital cafeteria. Not the greatest, but it will have to do given I will be here a lot in the coming weeks and well, prego lady has to eat! They took me back for a quick Biophysical profile. Which was a surprise to me because I didn't think I would get to see Eli today. So that was a bonus. The tech told me my fluids were great and I scored an 8/8. Not 100% sure what markers they look at but hey, we passed. 

After the quick peak at Eli, I was taken over to a room that had 2 beds and 2 monitors. I was on one and this very nosey other prego lady was on the other. Let me just tell ya, this lady was annoying. Asking questions every 4 mins it seemed like. SHUT UP LADY! It took a lot for me not to whip open the curtain and tell her to COOL IT! My kid has half a heart, shut your hole. 

The tech has to listen for 20 minutes for Eli's heart to increase twice, above his baseline heart rate. Of course, my kid falls asleep so she had to stimulate him with a buzzer thing. That seemed to work. On top of her trying to listen to any abnormal rhythm of Eli's heart, shes also listening to the lady's baby next to me. Shes multitasking. It made me nervous.

Tech released me and said all was normal. This will be a weekly routine on Fridays. Next week, I hope I don't get chatty Kathy next to me. 

Xoxo

My sweet boy

My sweet boy.

My 2 year old monster. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for you. I wish I could just stop time, bottle you up, and hold onto you tight, forever. I try not to empower you with too much love, but it’s impossible. I just want to keep you at this age, and put you in my pocket. Take you everywhere I go. It seems like just yesterday my 8lb 7oz baby boy was born! The time has flown by so much. I love you to the moon and back Lucas Robert. More than you will ever know. You will forever be, 

my little boy.

28 week check up

Today was my 28 week check up. Lots of information at this visit and basically signed my life over to Good Sam hospital. I will be there every week, now until 32w and then I go TWICE a week after that til Eli is born. HOLY SMOKES!

It's just been a hectic day. I literally had to schedule 9 APPOINTMENTS before I left the doctor. 9 appts people, that's a lot. They range from weekly stress tests, regular OB appts for me, ultrasounds and echocardiogram. The hardest one was scheduling us to see Eli's surgeon.

That kind of hit me in the gut.

On a positive note here are the stats from the appointment and a few pics :)

ELI JAMES 27w6d
2lb 11oz
Head down in utero

MOMMY 27w6d
145lbs (19lb weight gain)
BP 100/60

And how adorable is this nose and lips pic the sonographer caught. I see a little Lucas in him :) ok maybe too soon to tell but maybe!