Helpful emails.

I received a helpful email from another HLHS mom giving me a few pointers on what to take in my hospital bag for little Eli. Her timing couldn’t have been better. My diaper bag came yesterday J

“what we swore by were the carters undershirts that button up the front during hospitilazation. They are nice because you don’t have to pull anything over their heads and you can dress them in them with the heart monitor leads, ect on. We had them in every color and style. Pack socks, helps keep the oxygen lead from being kicked off their big toe. Some blankets of course.”

Huge help. I wouldn’t have even thought about the button down onesies! Looks like I am going shopping JJJ

Starting to think about how close his birth was and how the ability to keep him safe and happy and without pain was going to be out of my hands soon. I think most mothers have the innate desire to protect their child. As his surgery and all the recovery draws near, the more difficult it is for me to understand that it is all out of my hands and that theres only so much I can do to protect him. It just kills me to think about how his world is going to change once he is here. How much he is going to face, and how unfair it is to this little guy who has done nothing to deserve any of it.

Several times a day, it will hit me. I am trying, but its hard not to be scared sometimes. Sometimes, when I am doing okay, I wonder if I am just in denial. I know none of us know what the future holds, but this is just really tough to swallow some days. I had one of those days last Friday.